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Week 29: 

Last week's email provoked some very interesting responses, on the discussion board and in personal emails. Mostly what the exchange reminds me of is that yoga is extreme - it doesn't give us something "a little bit different". It asks us to drop all of our beliefs that create suffering. Yoga philosophy basically teaches us that we cannot end suffering with the same mind that created the suffering.

Sometimes, we receive a teaching or practice based on yoga philosophy that doesn't make sense to us. It's easy enough to reject that one piece, but I have found, over time, that the ideas or practices I rejected early on are the ones that eventually cracked me open. What I resisted most about a yoga class or style is what I needed most.

I've learned that the voice that becomes  critical of a teaching, or practice, is the same voice that is ruthlessly critical toward myself. It is the voice of a part of my mind that enjoys the particular flavor of suffering of being critical. Likewise, the part of me that gets angry at a teacher or teaching is the part of my mind that enjoys the particular suffering of anger. The part of me that tells me I'm not smart enough or "advanced enough" to understand a teaching (or practice a pose) is the part of me that enjoys the particular suffering of self-defeat and self-sabotage. I like to think that I am being "refined" in my approach to learning, but I am really just practicing all the ways I like to suffer.

When you have such a response (whether it's to an email in this class, or in a yoga class, or meditation retreat), it's interesting to notice how that process shows up, and how it feels. Notice if it feels familiar. Notice how it pulls you from center, from connection. The part of your mind that wants you to suffer in this particular way will try to convince you that the feeling is justified. But we cannot end suffering with the same mind that created the suffering. If we want to end this suffering, or be free to explore an idea, we need to do something else that breaks the cycle of samskara (conditioned suffering). A few suggestions for breaking the cycle were shared by members of this online class - stopping and focusing on the breath; grounding the feet and being present in the body; using drishti (gaze) to pull your focus into the present moment. 

Or sometimes we're just convinced that a particular teaching has nothing to do with us. It's fine for other people, but we are exceptions. For example, I heard from one email class member that the recent class emails on forgiveness are all very interesting, but have absolutely nothing to do with this individual's life, no applications, no connection. We had an exchange that identified the relevance - but what might be more interesting, to this person, is why the obvious connection was hard to see. The story I like to tell about this from my own experience is the time one of favorite meditation teachers was teaching in my hometown, and I was disappointed that the topic of the talk was "Unconditional Self-Acceptance." My mind actually told myself, "Gee, too bad that's the one thing you've already resolved! Maybe you shouldn't even go." Of course, this was the voice of the part of my mind that wanted to make sure I didn't give up the delightful suffering of self-criticism.

So this week's theme is a little abstract - how we receive teachings, and how we sometimes resist ideas that might be quite relevant. I would encourage you, as a simple exercise, to skim through the archives of this class and see if there are any emails you dismissed as being irrelevant or perhaps even "wrong". That's not to say that the content of the emails are "right" or even particularly important or insightful. What you get from these weekly emails has more to do with your own insight, creativity, and openness, than mine. We're more interested in noticing the process of how we close ourselves off to the potential insight we might have ourselves, sparked by a teacher or a class or a practice.

Visit the archives at:

http://www.openmindbody.com/2006emailclass.htm

login: yoga / password: connect

Another way to do this, for those of you who like to ground reflection in a physical practice, is to design a practice for yourself of all the poses and practices (meditation, chanting, etc.) you normally resist. What the process of resistance emerge, and see if you can not get caught up in it. Use the centering processes of drishti (gaze), breath, and attention to sensation to keep you present.

Discuss online at:

http://openmindbody.com/discuss/