The Yoga of Connection with Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D.

OPEN MIND OPEN BODY

The Yoga of Connection

Week 31:

This week, I'd like to continue the theme of who we consider "kindred spirits" - that is, who we see as being like us, and worthy of compassion, protection, and happiness.

First, a study was released this week that sheds some light on the limits of our compassion. This study looked at brain activity when participants were shown photos of different "kinds" of people - old people, young people, different professions, different races, etc. Among the photos were pictures of homeless people and drug addicts. The brain area of interest to researchers was the medial pre-frontal cortex (MPFC), which is known to be activated by any kind of "social cognition" - that is, thinking about other people. The MPFC is typically very active when viewing photos of other humans, but it was not activated when participants viewed photos of homeless people and drug addicts. Instead, the participants' brain activity was similar to when viewing an overflowing toilet. The researchers' interpretation is sad, indeed: that the participants did not view the homeless and addicts as "human". For more information about this study, visit: http://www.seedmagazine.com/news/2006/07/what_you_think_but_dont_say.php

Although the findings of this study are disturbing, I like the study because is highlights why so many traditional meditation techniques focus on cultivating compassion toward the individuals, or "kinds" of people, who trigger the opposite reaction in us (disgust, contempt, anger). The meditations are training us to see the humanity of others. They focus on helping us develop a visceral, genuine response of compassion. It is not a cognitive process. We don't talk ourselves into it - there's no way to convince ourselves, intellectually. The meditation practice is to "see" the person (in our mind) and cultivate a feeling response to them. I'm guessing (and check with me in a year, I might try to run this study) that experienced metta (lovingkindness) meditators might show activation in the MPFC when shown pictures of the homeless or drug addicts.

If you haven't yet developed a practice of metta meditation, the basic instructions are to bring various people to mind, and practice seeing them clearly ("Just like me, [this person] wishes to happy and free of suffering" is a mantra typically used) and feeling compassion ("May [this person] be healthy, May [this person] be happy, May [this person] be safe, May [this person] know peace" is a mantra typicall used). You start with someone who is an obvious "kindred spirit", such as a best friend or family member. You continue through "neutral" people and eventually "enemy" people, or those who trigger disgust or contempt. You can listen to me guiding a version of the metta meditation at:

http://www.openmindbody.com/2006emailclass/metta.mp3

Last week's email included the question, "Who am I not seeing clearly?" I wanted to share (with the author's permission) a response that was posted to the class discussion board. It is an interesting example of how the desire to feel compassion, the seed of compassion, can assert itself when we have our defenses down (in a dream).

From the discussion board:

Who in my life am I not seeing clearly? ("Clearly" meaning seeing the good in this person, and your shared desire to experience joy and end suffering.)

It didn't take much to receive an answer for this one....my mom. It was quite interesting that this practice inspired an eye-opening dream. In it I dreamt my mom was sick and dying. Not fake sick and exaggerating herself close to death, but that the doctors were telling me that she would not have much longer to live.

Consciously I don't think I was willing to accept that answer as being the "truth". I dismissed/ignored it. Subconsciously I must have produced the dream because it was the only way I was going to listen. THere were very detailed pieces in that dream, including learning some stuff that would make me more compassionate and sympathetic toward my mom. Despite all the criticisms and all of the other BS that gets in the way, I dreamt that I was sorry I had not been able to make a connection with my mom.

Maybe that's a sign.

I'm still not sure if this is the "true" response or if my mental thoughts intervened, but even if I do accept it, where do I go from here ?

Respond to this post online at:

http://openmindbody.com/discuss/viewtopic.php?t=135

password: connect

Finally, it was wonderful to meet a class member at the Inner Idea conference this week! For such a small class, it has been a delight to meet someone from the community at every conference and workshop I've been to all year. Small world, indeed! Keep introducing yourself.

Take care,

Kelly