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OPEN MIND OPEN BODY The Yoga of Connection |
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Week 42: Who Am I? Last week, I describe two common ways we try to establish identity - identifying our preferences and comparing ourselves to others. This week, I want to describe the alternatives. The first is to know ourselves through intentions and actions. The second is to recognize the universal qualities in ourselves and others. Knowing ourselves through intentions and actions: Finding identity through preferences is a comfortable process for many of us because it emphasizes our ability to choose ("I want that, I like that"). There is another way to know ourselves through our choices, and that is the process of continually asking ourselves, Am I living my life in line with my values? In this way, we get to experience the same sense of agency - being a human with the ability to make choices - but the focus in on our own actions in the world. Focusing on this quality of acting in line with our values also gives us a way to be flexible. There is less of a sense of rigidity and permanence to our self. Our values are not some definition of who we are, but a compass for how we are in the world. Recognizing the universal: Finding identity through comparison solves some basic need to understand ourselves in relationship to others. The alternative is to focus on the qualities that make us human - compassion, the desire for love and happiness, the delight at play, the satisfaction of mindful work. t is not about personality, but about personhood. These are qualities we all share. The equanimity meditation practice of recognizing "just like me, (this person) wishes to be happy and free of suffering" is an example of this process. So is the process of seeing our own behavior, and the behavior of others, as manifestations of a few key, universal motivations. For both of the above processes, it is important not to set up an "ideal self" image that hold yourself against. There is no "ideal self" that you are working toward, and you cannot fall short of your *real* self. A few emails (from the online community) this week touched on the idea of feeling "not worthy" in a yoga setting (as teachers, as students, as participants). If you have this experience, in a yoga context or anywhere, it can be helpful to recognize that this feeling is a product of self-identifying through comparison. You can't feel unworthy if you see your participation as an expression of an intention, or an expression of the universal desire for community, or peace of mind, or physical health. Take care, Kelly Share your reflections at http://www.openmindbody.com/discuss\ Explore the class archives and audio files at http://www.openmindbody.com/2006emailclass/archive.htm For both sites, use the Login: yoga and the Password: connect
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