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Week 8: Dispatch from Los Angeles

This week's email is a (long) story. You might want to skip the long story and go straight to the point (and practice), depending on how interesting you find stories about taxi drivers and yoga conferences. The shorter point is at the end of the email, and can be summed up in one word: Namaste.

Take care,

Kelly

One of the nice things about participating in (or guiding) a class like this is that you start to filter everyday events through the lens of the class theme - connection. This weekend, I was in Los Angeles for a meeting to plan an upcoming yoga conference. I had an unnerving experience at the beginning of the trip, but even as I was experiencing it, I was thinking, "There's something here I can learn from, and this is a story to share." It has to do with our need to be right, and how that need creates the experience of separation. 

*****

After landing in Los Angeles, I take a cab from the airport to the hotel. The cab driver asks me where I am from. I answer, "San Francisco." He says, "Wrong answer." I ask, "What's the right answer?" He says, "You come from a spiritual dimension, from God, and you are just borrowing this lifetime. Have you committed your life to spiritual devotion?"

Okay, this is an unusual conversation opener, but nothing scary yet. Then he asks me if I know that my time in this life is short - and tells me some story about how if you put an ant on the ground in the morning, he will be dead by the afternoon (?!?!? an unusual religious metaphor, and one he had to repeat three times before I understood it). 

He tells me that God has put him in this cab to talk to me. He tells me that all religions (except his own) are wrong, and that if I do not accept his religion, I will go to hell. He shares stories from religious history about how a true believer is revealed when someone tries to kill him (or her, as I am nervously thinking).

Peppered throughout his talk is the phrase "I have the answer." He insists that there is no other answer, no other interpretation of the world (and I am not arguing with him - he seems to enjoy arguing with himself).

As we pull up to the hotel, he finishes by telling me that we should be kind to each other, love each other, and forgive each other, and that is the true wish of God.  At this point, concerned about his intentions and my own safety, all I can think is, "Are you kidding me? You might have started with that point if you want to win people over!" And I wondered if he was actually feeling lovingkindness towards me, and if this was his way of expressing it.

Throughout this experience, I listened quietly and practiced the meditation described in this class 2 weeks ago. It helped.

*****

Now, if that were the only story I shared, I would be guilty of taking a perspective not unlike the cab driver's - he's crazy, I'm enlightened; his religion is harmful, yoga is good; let's all try not to be like the cab driver. But that's not really my point, and there is a part two to the story.

A couple of hours later, I was in the middle of the yoga conference planning session, with many "big shots" in the Western yoga world. The conversation turned to how, at the conference, we would keep the various yoga big shots from duking it out over whose approach was the best, the right way, the only way. We talked about how this dynamic of yoga fundamentalism has shown up in the past, how it is harmful, and how much we wanted to find "unity in diversity". There was a general sense of recognition that we all have this tendency to make ourselves "right", to establish ourselves in opposition of others to reinforce our sense of security or superiority. 

This struck me as an amazing demonstration of insight, even as it also demonstrated that the practice of yoga does not turn us into perfectly enlightened beings. By looking at our human tendencies honestly, by seeing the ego and potential for destruction in ourselves and not just "those crazy fundamentalists", we don't need to get lost in the endless cycle of suffering. One of the fruits of a yoga practice is self-awareness and accountability. We stop looking so much at what is wrong with others and how we can change them or fix them. We start to see the world as a mirror for ourselves, and we study the reflection.

We had a trial run of the conference after the planning session - a panel discussion on Yoga Therapy for the public. The speakers, who ranged from senior Iyengar teachers to Ashtanga Vinyasa teachers, were able to discuss their own approach with full respect to other approaches. There was unity in diversity, and the intention to remain open kept the specter* of yoga fundamentalism at bay. 

*****

There's no moral to this story. It's not a well-honed parable, just my weekend experience. But the stark contrast of these two experiences, so close to one another, made me think about how often the need to be right isolates us. The need to be right is based on a belief: the belief that by being separate and different from others, we are safe. The belief that finding the "right" path makes us "safe". Taking comfort in the thought, "I'm not like them, I'm different."

These beliefs are, to say the least, unhelpful. In this life, we are profoundly interdependent, and true safety comes from relaxing into that interdependence. When you are able to look at me, and I am able to look at you, and we both see ourselves as having the same human experience and the same desire for happiness and peace, no harm can come from you or to you.

The Practice

That is the truth that we honor in yoga classes when we say "Namaste" at the end of class. Namaste can be translated as:

I honor the place in you
in which the entire Universe dwells,

We typically say "Namaste" with our hands in anjali mudra (or prayer position). You can also practice saying namaste with two different mudras: bandha mudra, which represents the interdependence of all beings, and lotus mudra, which represents our awakened desire for all beings to be happy and free of suffering.

To practice bandha mudra, place your palms together, and interlock your fingers and thumbs (like anjali mudra, this resembles a traditional prayer gesture). Transition to lotus mudra on an inhalation: unlock the fingers, separate all fingers except the tips of the little fingers and the tips of the thumbs. This creates an open-palmed gesture that resembles the unfolding lotus flower:

You can alternate between these two as you breathe, practicing a mudra vinyasa. Interlock the fingers as you exhale, open to lotus mudra as you inhale. Finish by saying namaste.

This week, if you attend or teach a yoga class, reflect on the meaning of namaste when you say it. Tell your students what it means.  

In everyday life, bring the word and definition to mind as you interact with other people. Make eye contact and listen. Observe the inner critic who immediately starts to create distance by evaluating what the other person says or does. Ask yourself, how does my need to be right serve this situation? What is another way?

*specter: something that haunts or perturbs the mind. I love how this word and definition capture the essence of our destructive beliefs and emotions.